I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
