After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
