Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
