I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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