Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
