I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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