and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
