I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
