I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
