That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
