After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
