Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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