in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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