accomplished twins. life is a go
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Why can't burritos get me drunk
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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