so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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