There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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