Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
