Fuck appropriateness.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Houston, we have a squirter
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
