Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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