smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
