I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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