just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
