whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am naked and annoyed.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
