And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
