I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
