Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
ok first of all what the fuck
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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