I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
