he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
