The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
