i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
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Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I need to align my fucking chakras
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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