I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
