I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have fence marks all over my body
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
