sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
there was a trapeze. enough said
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Shame - the story of my life.
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