I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
