You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
