The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
