You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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