Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dignity is for republicans.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
