Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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