Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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