His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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