if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
