A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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