I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
