And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
