somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
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She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
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Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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