I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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