you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
