now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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