I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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