Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
