My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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