You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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