i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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