My friends, they love my intelligence
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
