Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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